1. |
Somewhere Sordid
03:07
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Why don't you tell me another lie
like the one you did last night?
you know I bought it
and do you know that contagious disease
you brought back from your visit to Greece?
I think I've caught it
You saw me standing there
running my fingers through my hair
a poseur without a care venue?
Somewhere sordid
Well he's got a ticket to Ryde
but he don't rate the Isle of Wight
he yearns for adventure
a rebel with holes in his shirt
he's sick and tired of getting called a jerk
well he's got big intentions
He's young and not so worldly wise
he's in it right up to the eyes
and who are you to sympathise?
living somewhere sordid
Burn me with the steak
then drink all your troubles away
you've got enough on your plate
well here's mud in your face
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2. |
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Well I was doing nothing wrong I was....
just hanging around there for too long
until the boys in blue came along oh no!
the arm of the law was strong
threw me into a cell and then proceeded
to throw the book at me as well
my mother said I'd never learn
and now the wheels of justice slowly turn
The legal system's crooked and all the coppers are bent
so I am presumed guilty until proven innocent
In my defence I'll sing a song I fought the law
and once again the law has won
so now my freedom's well and truly gone I'm under
lock and key all day long
I think I'll write a book about my rough treatment (yeah!)
that's what I'll do when I get out
behind these bars I am feeling confused
and that is why I finally conclude
Barristers solicitors and judges
would you kindly take note of my plea
clerks of court jurors briefs and lawyers
I think you've guessed it is....insanity!
I'm lodging an appeal 'cause I don't like the meals
Well I was doing nothing wrong
(this isn't justice it's just an injustice!)
well I was doing nothing wrong
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3. |
Bangkok
04:24
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We're all off to Bangkok on a jolly boys' holiday
some of us will come back some of us might not
we could experience the joys of the ladyboys
buy a Thai bride or get jailed and fry in Bangkok
In Bangkok, Bangkok, in Bangkok we're all off to Bangkok
I'm forty-nine now time is running out
I like to have fun I've a business to run!
come home with me I'll look after your family
I deal in hard cash please don't call me white trash in
Bangkok
I want my fair share of thrills before I am over the hill
it's high time I stopped the rot so...
I'm chancing my arm in Bangkok
She's feeling homesick England is not her scene
she's booked on a flight back to Thailand tonight
my bank account bled dry feel like I wanna to die
when push comes to shove I'm a loser in love in Bangkok
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4. |
My Alter Ego
02:53
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Your heart's not in the right place
must be somewhere beneath your shin
you always put your foot in it
in your bids to save your skin
you say you're on the level
but you take the same old risks
listening to heavy metal
and accepting strangers' lifts
Well you think you really know me
oh you think you really know
well you think you really know me
but you only really know my alter ego
Your idiosyncrasies
have bemused me for sometime
and I can't legislate
for the workings of your mind
the store detective caught you again
rubbed her hands together with glee
how could you get arrested
on a window shopping spree?
Narrow minds will think alike
I'll drop on you from a great height
when they made you they broke the mould
you're so selfish!
I'm as good as gold!
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5. |
Goodbye Goodbye
04:18
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She's a Lena Zavaroni lookalike
raids the fridge in the heat of the night
bruises form on bruises with the kicks
he jabbed her in the stomach made her sick
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
"You treated me so cruelly"
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
"For some time I've been poorly"
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
He's not the most patient bloke in the world
he hates it when she goes out with the girls
that brand of vodka helped him vent his spleen
now she wishes that she'd learned to cook and clean
He can't take a joke
so she receives another punch
old wounds are evoked
her crime was throwing up her lunch
Never brave enough to take the final step
he's the most attractive man she ever met
braces herself for another blow
but it's better the devil that you know
Goodbye, goodbye, GOODBYE
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6. |
The Absurdity Of It All
04:06
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With one hand tied behind my back
I'm fighting a lost cause
and if I wasn't so young
I'd swear it's male menopause
aimless around town been mixing my metaphors
now I'm hatching a devious plot
to annoy the neighbours
That's the absurdity of it all
that's the stumble before the fall
that's the uncertainty in my head
oh I think I was born to be dead
An old man in a greasy spoon says
"Pass me the brown sauce"
and if I wasn't so friendly
he'd swear I'd been in the wars
aggravated burglary been busy violating laws
but now I'm learning my lesson
I attend remedials
Do up your shoe-lace paint your pretty face
you can't sum me up though mathematics is your strong point
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7. |
The Great Unwashed
04:17
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She comes round in the morning
before I'm even out of bed
she's whistling a merry tune "Get up get up" she says
she's telling me her favourite joke about poverty and death
while she undraws the curtains I pull hair from my head
It's so warm beneath these blankets
I could stay in here for years
"there's a world outside there waiting"
"Get up get up" she sneers
She comes round in the afternoon
before I'm even out of bed
and she peers out through the window
"Do you know the streets are dead?"
I yawn because I'm tiring
of her constant pillow talk
"Your belly's got no fire in!"
"Come on let's go for a walk"
"We've got several appointments"
"Get up get up come on"
there's a world outside there waiting
but that's what I'm hiding from
She comes round in the evening
before I'm even out of bed
glowing in her glad rags asking me if I've been fed
I fear I'm losing consciousness
"Get up get up she says"
life to me is so meaningless stab me let me bleed to death
She raves "The night life 'round here is so excellent"
"Get up get up you fool show some resilience"
Turn me over on my side I'll dream a little dream
forgetting the outside the laughs the shouts the screams
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8. |
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The estate's in a state of disrepair
and I'm busy getting driven to despair
the ice cream van comes 'round three times a day
but he's not selling '99s with flakes
powders pills and pornography
the kids are getting hooked they're all out of their tree
parents listen to the Beatles while they're stoned
meanwhile...I'm off to find a shark I need a loan
Well it pays to tell the truth in the end
fruit machines lost me my friends
over and over again fruit machines cost me my friends
Enticed by the excitement of the arcade
I'm gambling someone else's hard earned away
mesmerised by flashing lights and spinning reels
I'm hooked you know I'd beg borrow or steal
feeding the machines with my supply of coins
I get a strange stirring feeling deep inside my loins
my head hurts a bit and I feel sick
social workers using words such as addict
Swallowed all my money petty cash and tokens
are these withdrawal symptoms? It feels like I am choking
sent to G.A. meetings they've abolished talk of jackpots
guilty of a string of muggings but so far I haven't been caught
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9. |
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Have you ever seen a grown man cry?
That look on your face when I ask you for cash
brings me out in a nervous rash
and you get so irate when I arrive home late
it's ludicrous,if you didn't cry you'd laugh
Have you ever seen a grown man cry?
those "I bet you bet again's"
just cut me down to size
Too many marriages made in heaven lead to divorce
when everything's down to the luck of a horse
They must've seen me coming
with a pocketful of money
he must've seen me coming
and now he's off to places sunny
When I'm flush for a while we'll put on the style
and go out for a night-out on the town
but when my losses are cut you'll mouth your if's and but's
in my experience even the surest bets go down
Have you ever seen a grown man cry?
I'm a waster you're a worrier
my half-truths can't be lies
Don't persecute me 'cause I like a drink
did you miss me again?
it seems you must've blinked
You get your thrills from paying bills
while I get my kicks
from the ringing of the bookies till
no wonder you feel ill
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10. |
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Evening all it's time to take my nightly stroll
outside my front door
then mosey down the road
past the chavs on the corner
and the drunks outside the pub
the couple rowing in the takeaway
will they ever get their grub?
The last bus is pulling out
bound for it's final destination
while cardboard city's settling down
to another night of cold frustration
Satchmo got it wrong in his song
it's not a wonderful world
I must avoid that needle
give a wide berth to all the muggers and the racists
turn my back on pure evil
avert my eyes from the hookers and the rapists
the facists, the bullies, the paedos
and all the other scum of the earth
I condemn them all every single last one of them
in my own way for what it's worth
The last bus has reached the depot
it's passengers have disembarked
my ipod's playing 'In The Ghetto'
as I keep walking through the dark
Road rage, ignorance, arrogance & greed
drug dealers, bent coppers
mealy mouthed politicians
capitalism, terrorists, Brexit
and bands with street teams
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11. |
Odd Couple
03:30
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You shed a tear I'll have another beer
and then turn on the stereo
let's have a party and invite all our friends
the more the merrier
In our first suicide pact
I chose to die in a crash
you went for death by chocolate
now you've taken the keys to the car
and I've hidden all the Mars Bars
there's no sense in risking it
Our train of thought has been de-railed
and we're struggling
to get it back on track
Can't live with one another
can't survive without each other
and if you took another lover
I'd never quite recover
You go out with your mates
I'll stay in and watch the football
you commit the seven deadly sins
against the nightclub wall
In our second suicide pact
you chose mutilation by axe
I opted for an heart attack
but now the hatchet is out of bounds
and no fatty foods are allowed
lord knows you have to laugh
Our train of thought stops at
every other station
but somehow on each occasion
winds up at the same destination
Can't live with one another
can't survive without each other
and if you took another lover
I'd never quite recover
Help me I'm going insane
Can't live with one another....
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12. |
Out To Lunch
03:10
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Half mad and half insane paroxetine assists our brain
Betablockers help to calm our nerves
we're seldom seen and rarely heard
often referred to in their speeches
as selfish sponging lazy leeches
When it comes to the crunch it's no picnic being out
when it comes to the crunch
it's no picnic being out to lunch
Bi-polar manic or schizo they'll have you down
as a psychotic weirdo
everyone's scared of mental illness
that's why they ostracise us
ecstatic highs and crippling lows
it's hard to tell our friends from our foes
Fill us up with pills then watch us rattle
our therapists say we can win the battle!
Would someone unattach the stigma?
don't try to work us out
we're an enigma
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13. |
Not Superstitious
02:16
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Well I was born on the 13th day of the 13th month
the midwife dropped me on my head just...just for fun
I made a pact with the devil at a very early age
satan said he'd stay by my side from the cradle to the grave
I'm a Star Wars enthusiast and my girlfriend is ficticious
but I no I I'm not superstitious
I no I I'm not superstitious
I once won £20 on a lotto scratchcard
then later that same afternoon I was mugged in my
own backyard
my hairstyle's from the eighties and my clothes are the same
and I wonder why anyone would like David Blaine
I spend too much time on the internet and I've never
been ambitious
but I no I I'm not superstitious
I no I I'm not superstitious
I no I I'm not superstitious
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BrokenDownRecords UK
Broken Down Records. Releases include The Irony Board of Bolton, Echolalia of NW London, Broken Down Lorry of Harrow, The Broken Heed of Watford and The Salient Braves of Barnsley
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